Baby, Child, Teenager, Adult, Old

noun

1. 1.

   a person who is fully grown or developed.

   synonyms:

   grown person, grown man, grown woman, grown-up person, grown-up,mature person, mature man, mature woman, person of mature age.

adjective

1. fully grown or developed.

This is the dictionary's definition of the word 'adult'. As you can see, the main words used are 'grown', 'mature' and 'developed'. Which is an unarguable definition. The harder question and answer is, when do people fit this profile? Can we clarify an exact line, definition or time when people change from a teenager to an adult? Currently, we define adulthood by age. The age of an 'adult' varies from country to country. People debate whether the age set is right or not. I think the problem is, is there really a 'coming of age' where people enter adulthood? 

There's been a few discussions about legal age limits and when someone should be classified as an 'adult'. Generally, most people consider 18 and after as 'adult age'. But as put by child psychologist Laverne Antrobus, "The idea that suddenly at 18 you're an adult just doesn't quite ring true," (Wallis, L. 2013)  I couldn't put it better myself. The reason why we keep discussing age limits is because people's behaviour makes us question more and more 'what age are you technically an adult?'

In all honesty, I've never really thought of myself as an adult until recently. In my late teens I got to a stage where I didn't want to be an adult but I didn't want to always be treated like a baby either. I didn't mind a bit of responsibility, but I never wanted a lot of it because it scared me. I didn't want anything to possibly my fault. I hated pressure and possibly letting anyone down. The idea and feeling of disappointment kills me. It still does.

Pressure, responsibility and disappointment still scares me to no end, but the difference now is that I accept that I have to do it and I'm less scared. I don't think this makes me an adult. It just shows how much I've changed. My attitude is very different. Before, I'd only do things if I was forced to, but still hoped someone would help me or take-over. Now, I'm more than capable of doing something alone or with help. Either way makes no difference. Even if it's a difficult task and I feel out of my depth, and when I actually do need help I'm not scared to ask for help or to just step-up and get on with it because I know that's what's needed of me. Nobody likes for things to be their fault or to feel pressure, but I handle it a lot better now and I can step-up and up-my-game when needed now.

This is partly why I feel and classify myself as an adult now. It's only after living independently alone, and working at a real job in a foreign country that I feel like an adult. I had a job before and I lived away from home before too. But I was never independent. I think everyone matures at different rates, but I do think living alone, properly alone, helps. Not like at university where you're still surrounded by friends, live with friends and visit home regularly, and only studying or 'studying'. I grew up a bit at university but nowhere near as much as I have here in Korea.

At university I thought I was really independent. It was the most independent I had ever been so far in my life. Arranging and organising my accommodation, handling larger finances than I had ever had before (thank you student loans!!) and generally being more in control of my life. However, I was getting decent amounts of money every semester as long as I was enrolled at university. I was obviously studying and working hard, but let's face it, studying at university and working a proper full-time job are two different things. Both are strenuous in different ways. Studying lets us learn while working lets us handle finances.

This post is not an excuse to toot my own horn. I'm just trying to highlight that although I've always had amazing people around me that have helped me and guided me no matter what I was doing or tackling, and I've basically always been the same in personality and attitude, I'm now a much stronger and independent person. I've matured. A lot. And it's maturity that's key to being an adult. You can be wise, act tough or independent, be older, but that won't necessarily being an adult. You can see the world and still be narrow-minded and immature. I've met plenty of people like that in England and Korea.

I think the definition in the dictionary is right. It's about growth, maturity and development. The important thing though, is that it's of the mind; not the body. Maturing and growing-up is different for every person. For me, I had to live alone, away from home and do a real, full-time job. I'm guessing this is the case for most people. Again, I know a lot of people who have done this but still haven't matured. Not maturing and being an adult isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just something we must all do eventually. It's not optional. It's part of life.

In all honesty, I connect better with mature people. Immaturity is fine, but I really hate when someone can't be serious when something serious is happening. It just grates on me. I might be a spoil sport and up-tight but that's how I feel. Trying to talk seriously with someone who keeps trying to make jokes is like when someone tells you and insists that you're angry or annoyed. It's irritating and rubs you the wrong way and it makes you angry, even if you wasn't beforehand.

Wallis, L. (2013) Is 25 the new cut-off point for adulthood? [Online] BBC. Available from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24173194  [29/12/2013]

Love-phobia: Trust Issues, Love Issues, Issues

This post is linked to my previous post "When you like someone"  in my other blog "Thinking Things Through". 


It's a bit cliché but I can't help it. I have massive issues when it comes to guys and relationships. 

Apparently this is how I react to affection ... and boys.

Don't get me wrong. I'm like the male character.

A little dramatic, but you get the idea...
 ... I runaway ... 

I have quite a few issues when it comes to relationships. I have trust issues and I'm a bit uptight. Especially when it comes to my emotions. I'm that cliché person. The one that's like that character from that movie. You know, the one that finds it hard to let people in and all that jazz. Because of this, I have a lot of people predicting that I'll end up in some kind of crazy whirlwind romance where I'll get married spontaneously and have a million babies and live happily ever after ... God forbid! That would be horrendous! Sure I would like to be in love, me loving him and him loving me back, but I definitely don't wish for a movie-like love life. That's something I really don't want. I don't like romantic films or books, let alone living one. It's just not my thing.

What's my problem? Where to begin? Well, I don't really think I have a 'problem' as such. Some people think I do. There are just a lot of things about guys, people, relationships and myself that scare and worry me. Which is quite natural, right? I just let these things get to me more than some people. But these are not the sole reasons for me never having a boyfriend. I do choose to be single. As I've written before, I don't wish to get in a relationship with just any guy or for no good reason. That's just not how I am.

So, the next question of course is, why do I have these 'issues'. Well, as I've said before, I've had some bad 'friends' in the past and I'm sure there are many more to come. They are partly why I have trust issues. It's negative and blunt, but it's a sad fact that people screw other people over all of the time. Random people and so-called friends, and even possibly family will try to screw you over. I've met and known a lot of horrible people in my life, and they don't give me much hope for humanity or society. I don't believe they're all bad at heart, but they certainly don't make the world a better place.

I've always been a really open person. I've always talked about myself and my life quite openly. I think maybe that's why I've always been naturally quite good with people. However, now I find it hard to actually get properly close with someone. I've regretted getting close with my ex-friends and now I find myself quite detached with people. I'm still open, but in a more robotic way. I don't mind talking about experiences, opinions and so forth, but I don't let people in.

I don't have many close friends that I trust and would rely on. I mostly have 'acquaintances', some friends and only 4 real close friends in the whole world. Which is more than enough for me. I love my close friends to bits and I appreciate them wholeheartedly. And that's because I know how hard it is to find real friends like them. We're on the same wavelength. Not necessarily have the same opinions or anything, we just understand each other and treat each other with the same respect. We're on the same page, so to speak. With my other friends it's mostly them opening up and talking. I don't really talk about personal matters; only listen to theirs and talk about general crap to be honest. So I'm pretty sure finding a boyfriend of the same standard as my close friends (trusting, loyal and reliable) is going to be a mission and a half, to say the least.

The other reason why I have issues with boys and relationships is because while I haven't ever had a boyfriend, I've seen and watched people go in and out of relationships. I've known people who have been hurt and those who have been causing the pain. I've discussed this with my friends before and it's kind of scary. We all know people who are nice and that make good friends but make horrible horrible partners. As a friend, they treat you really nicely but they treat their partners like shit. And there are also people who are naturally two-faced and manipulative. They mess with your heads, twist everything their way and make it always seem like they're the victim somehow. There's also the people who just out-rightly don't give a shit about their partners. They don't play the game 'treat them mean and keep them keen'. They're just arseholes acting like arseholes (excuse my French). And of course, we also know people who are just outright players. That just want to score and have sex. Whether if that's with you or the next person that walks by. And that will happily date more than one person at the same time. Of course there are lovely people, but they're usually taken, not interested or you're not interested. They're so nice that of course they're not single. Or they're happily single and just happily doing their own thing. Or they're lovely and you want to be friends with them and hope that they meet someone special that'll treat them nicely because they're so lovely that you can't help but want them to find happiness. Yet for some reason, you don't want to be that person.... This is one of those annoying things about life; it just can't be simple can it?

I think this is a weird issue. I'm quite weird. Basically, I get annoyed when I like someone.... Yeah weird, I know. I said that. Why do I get annoyed when I like someone? Because I'm generally an independent person that just does my own thing and just does what needs to be done. But when I like someone I turn into a complete girl! I get shy and I end up saying loads of stupid things and all of my thoughts start to revolve around that person. This is typical girl behaviour, but the thing is, I'm not a typical girl. I'm not very girlie. Like I said, I'm detached with my emotions and I'm generally quite logical. So being out of character just because I like someone terrify me. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel irrational. It's scary and thrilling all at the same time, and I like but hate the person at the same time. And all of my insecurities seem to be amplified. It sounds over-dramatic, but I feel like I can't trust myself. My reasoning goes out of the window and how the person responds to me or my feelings feels like they'll make or break me. This is why I feel vulnerable. And this is why I smile but then automatically hate myself for smiling when I think about him. I don't want to be defined by someone else and I don't like feeling dependent on another person.

My last issue is simply this. I'll admit, hands down, that I'm not ready nor am I willing to be in a relationship right now because I want to concentrate on me and work out my life. I know I could work on me and be in a relationship. But if I was to be in a relationship, hypothetically speaking, I would want to commit to that person, compromise with him and be a good girlfriend. Like, making and spending time with him. Travelling to see him, travelling somewhere together, take an interest in his interests etc... I'd do things less or more for the sake of him. If you're not willing to work at it, compromise and take the other person into consideration, then why be in a relationship? I don't have the time or perspective to do all of that for someone at the moment. I don't want to have to think about another person other than me right now. In time I will, but not right now. It sounds selfish, but I can't help but want to sort out my life first before having to consider another and incorporate him into my life.

First World Problem: Trivial but annoying

Waiting: A Tiresome Job

So I thought I'd write a quick blog as I'm waiting for the gas man to come and do a quick safety check.

I've been waiting for just over an hour and I'm already going crazy!



The gas man comes round every now and then to do checks to make sure there aren't any problems or gas leaks. Which is fine. Quite reassuring to be honest. The problem is because I'm usually busy I haven't been in my apartment when he's been coming over to my apartment building. So I arranged for someone to come over and didn't make any other plans. He never came. He came the next day, when I was at work. And again when I wasn't in. So my co-teacher kindly rang up and arranged for someone to come again. Basically the same thing happened. Now I receive a notice stating if I don't have a check soon the gas to my apartment will be cut-off. So here I am. Sitting and waiting once again.

I've quickly cleaned up the place. Got to make the place half-presentable right? Started to do other little bits and bobs. Researching jobs and volunteer work. Then started to get hungry. And guess what? I don't have any food to eat. One of the things I love about Korea and my apartment is that there's a convenient store at the bottom of my building. However, I have to wait for the stupid gas man. I don't really hate the gas man, but I'm starting to. Usually I could just pop down and get some noodles or crisps or other snacks or something to whip up a meal at least. But not today. Oh no. Got to wait. Especially as knowing my luck, he'll come the 5 minutes I'm not actually here.

This is becoming one of those FML moments.

So now, of course, all I can think about is food, then I try not to think about food but end up thinking about food again as my stomach won't allow me to think about anything else.

Now I'm really thinking FML.

Then, eureka! I've realised something. "I can have food delivered!!!!" Thank you modern day society and your marvelous technology and great way of living!

You know how I wrote 'knowing my luck' because I have shit luck? Well here it is again. Knowing my luck, of course I can't access my account. Therefore, I cannot get food delivered. Grrr! Right? One of the most frustrating things is when you can't do or get something when you actually want it. It's like this is happening on purpose. Like something's trying to tease or taunt me. Just for fun. So I now feel like this:



Just now, I had another moment of clarity. Except this time I'm less excited. I'm irritably hungry right now and I now hate this website. But for a chance to get any food I'm going to have to register again. This is a long-winded process just go get food.

My large potato and bacon pizza was delivered and I ate most of it while watching 'Will and Grace'. So I'm happy right now. Even though I'm still waiting for the gas man. At least I'm doing it while I'm full and in bed. Food and warmth is all that I need to be content.

Moral of the story? People really do turn ugly when you become between them and food. People are like savages when they're hungry. I don't think it's a bad thing. People and things just shouldn't get in the way of eating time, quite frankly. Unless you want to make someone very irritated. Literally, when the door bell rang and I heard it was the pizza delivery man I was like this:

So happy! When food is ready, it's like the best news ever!

Apologies

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. I've been really busy and on-and-off sick too. Very sad times. So here's a quick cheeky post while I have a bit of time before the next period (luckily and sensibly we have 10 minutes between every period here in Korea. So teachers and students have time to move classrooms, go to the toilet, quickly run an errand or even sneak in a quick cheeky nap haha).

If you're a regular reader (don't really know what the right word for that is. My bad) you've probably already noticed that I'm writing in a really different style to normally. This is because I'm in a rush to write and I felt bad for not posting so I'm writing more like how I speak. Are you surprised? Maybe this sounds a lot different. The only problem with typing fast is that I end up writing how I speak ... And that's just saying whatever pops into my head. Actually that's why I'm a people's person. I just talk crap haha.

Anyways, back to the point. This post is basically an apology for not posting much lately. I promise I'll post some of the ideas I've had. I've thought of loads of stuff I want to write about but I haven't had any time to sit down and properly write anything for ages. I've been teaching, helping out, teaching English to Korean adults, catching up with friends, studying Korean, doing normal stuff in-between, trying to contact people back in England ... It's just all mounted up suddenly and it's been mental. So, sorry.

Secondly, I just wanted to quickly get something off of my chest. This will probably be the shorted blog I've ever written because of the lack of time to write this and because the point to this is quite simple. It's simply this: I miss England and I appreciate it so much more. I've finally made a decision. I will be coming home after this contract has finished .... AHHHHHHHHHH! Nervous but I'm looking forward to it. I'm glad I've made a decision and I feel relieved that I finally have. And lately I've been looking forward to going home more and more. What things? Mostly from youtube. I've been watching and listening to a lot of British things and people on the net. I miss the British humour, behaviour, attitude ... I actually miss British people. Kinda weird. Not gonna lie.

And there goes the bell. I'll check in again later with a proper post hopefully :) Have a good day. If you check out the links below then I hope you like them! They're just some of the stuff that I've fallen in love with in the last two days. Must dash! Love xxx

http://www.youtube.com/user/JacksGap

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHJyI-2q3U4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LXzCtPQVVA

P.S. Sorry if the music links have anything weird in it. I didn't actually check them.
(Yes I like those songs, judge me if you want. I don't care. They're good songs. In my opinion anyway).