Limbo: Not a child but not quite yet an adult

You may have noticed the title is 'Growing Up' and, like said in my previous blog, I'm writing a reflective account with themes and this is the theme for my first chapter of blogs. This theme is exceptionally relevant to me at the moment. I'm still young and I feel like I'm in limbo. I'm an adult but I've still got a lot to learn, a lot to experience and a lot of critical life decisions to still make.

Today's blog contains thoughts prompted by my students' graduation, which was today. It's a bit of a cliché but seeing them reminds me of when I was about their age. I'm still young but it seems like a life-time ago when I was at school and dealing with trivial problems and living a simple, care-free life. I think in retrospect it seems like life was a lot easier and simpler 'back in the day'; which seems to be the general view adults have on childhood. However, when I really think about my life back then I know that I didn't feel like it was easy and simple. When you compare stresses of homework, bickering with friends and family, and other things like 'relationships' to current stresses and worries those past worries do seem trivial. But I don't think that they should be so easily dismissed. Many of us lecture and dismiss the worries of youths and laugh about our past. But hindsight detaches us from our past and we've already learnt from those lessons and experiences. Also, I think even if I went back to do it all again I would still be stressed and feel similar emotions. I think that's one key thing to growing up. It's the experiences and memories that we have that's the essence of growing up, and that's what makes and changes us.

We know that it's our past that shapes us as a person. It's what makes each person unique; our personal experiences, changes and responses. Thousands of people can experience the same thing but people will be impacted by it in different ways and they may make different decisions afterwards. Most of us have the simple and standard childhood of going to school, meeting and making friends, and going to university or college. Some people take different routes. But we all end up in different places with different personalities, different thoughts, different experiences and different paths.

It's easy to look back on life and wish life was simple and easy like that again, and for us to lecture those younger than us, but quite frankly, life's never that simple. It'll always be a mixture of ups and downs, and various emotions and obstacles. Unfortunately there isn't always a definite right answer or choice, but the choice is ours to make. Whilst you can use mottos like 'live life to the fullest', 'you only live once', 'live while you're young' and 'live life with no regret' I think it's all down to you. I'm still very young and I've been given a lot of advice but I've chosen to dismiss a lot of it. I'm teaching in South Korea at the moment and I've been thinking a lot about my future; what career I want to pursue, where I want to live and what's my next step. I've heard a lot of 'Travel while you're young. It's the best time to do it. You'll regret not doing it when you're older.' and 'You're still really young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't worry
about those kinds of things yet. Just enjoy your youth." This may be good advice for some but I've come to realise what my priorities are and being abroad and young is amazing but I also love the idea of working hard at a job that I'm passionate about and to be independent. I want a sophisticated life style where I'm not worried about whether I have enough money for my next bill, and be able to enjoy life's amazing luxuries like driving to see the family for the weekend or meeting friends for coffee and a catch up. That's the life I want.

My only goal in life is to be happy. And at the moment that's what I picture happiness to be and I want to do whatever I can to get that. If I keep travelling rather than trying to pursue this, that will be a massive regret.

I've never been a laid back person that can sit and twiddle my thumbs. Especially when something is going through my head over and over again. I'm the type of person that has to be proactive; to feel like I'm putting my all into tackling the problem at hand. I need to feel like I'm doing everything within my capability or I know I'll regret it later. I do think you should live life with no regrets. It's something I've stood by for a long time. Life is too short. So I believe you should do everything you can to achieve happiness and to have no regrets. That for me is living life to its fullest. There's no reason why we can't all be happy. Do what you can; even if you're not moving forward, at least you know that you can't look back and wish you had tried this or that. If you do everything in your capability then the rest is down to circumstances which is out of your control and logically there's nothing you could have done about it. That's one thing I live off; knowing that I've done everything within reason and I can justify every decision, mistake and action I've ever made.

When reflecting and thinking about life I think happiness is the most important thing. If something's on your mind and bothering you then it's worth trying to do something about it.

A very amazing and influential person in my life has always said to me 'If you're going to moan about it then do something about it, if not then shut up and get on with it'. It's harsh and blunt but very true. Life is too short so try to do what you can to be happy. Happiness is pictured different by every person. Sometimes you can't picture it. But then I think you should just be an opportunist and try new experiences until you can picture what it is that makes you happy. My perception of happiness is probably a lot different from yours but that's OK. Don't live your life for others, live your life for yourself. Make the necessary decisions for yourself to become happy. I've realised from being out here that I don't want to be a teacher and that travelling isn't a major priority for me. It's my family, socialising and finding that career that I love. I love writing, reading, art and socialising so that's what I'm concentrating on at the moment. That's why I've started this blog. I've enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. Leave any comments or critiques if you want. I'd be interested to read your views. And I hope to blog again soon. Have a good day :)